Tagged: Humour

The Most Ridiculous Names in Sport: Part One

More than ten years ago I began compiling a list of what can only be described as sportspeople with ridiculous names, after I discovered the existence of the gloriously-monikered footballer Jermaine McSporran (strangely enough, he’s not Scottish…). The list lay dormant for quite some time until my recent discovery of another footballer with a quite astonishingly ridiculous name – the Brazilian lower-league striker Creedence Clearwater Couto (see below for more on this chap).

Posting this discovery on Twitter led to a flood of quite brilliantly silly new names (and a few old favourites) from many of my followers – leaving me clinging to my desk, breathless with laughter, for the whole of one evening last month. God knows what the neighbours must have thought! As a result of all this social media fun and games, a number of people asked me to put together a complete list in one place (it ended up being two places: Part Two to follow!) – so here it is…

Goodies and baddies:

Eden Hazard is a cracking name,” correctly observes a Twitter correspondent, “Would make an excellent high-school superhero”. I concur (despite Hazard’s recent run-in with a ballboy), and would also suggest that the Chelsea and Belgium winger teams up in a superhero partnership with the ex-Swindon Town, Kilmarnock and St Johnstone player Danny Invincibile.

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Careful now, Mr Cameron…

There’s been a spate of witty and amusing placards and banners on show at various recent demonstrations in London (current favourites include the Father Ted-inspired ‘Down with this sort of thing!’, ‘Capitalists of the world ignite’ and ‘I bet they still have EMA at Hogwarts’). I spotted this librarian making a damn good point at yesterday’s massive March For The Alternative

It Ain’t No Sin: Mae West’s Guide to Life

Most people, when they hear the name Mae West, think of old Hollywood movies and a brassy bottle blonde delivering comic double entendres in a studied drawl. In fact, there was a lot more to Mae than innocently smutty remarks (although she made those into a cinematic art form – most famously replying to the comment “Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!” with a knowing “Goodness had nothing to do with it” in the 1932 movie Night After Night).

A woman way ahead of her time, she was a multi-talented performer and a very successful and highly controversial playwright – her first play (entitled, with admirable brevity and decades before Madonna, simply Sex) led to her arrest and brief imprisonment during the highly moralistic 1920s. Beginning her career in vaudeville, she became a smash hit on Broadway for both her acting and her plays before moving to Hollywood in the early 1930s, where she became a huge success, again for her acting and writing.

Her distinctive and naughty style attracted the attention of the censors, and her early Hollywood performances were apparently partly responsible for the creation of the so-called Hays Code, which tied the American film industry into a narrowly defined moral outlook for more than thirty years. It was in order to circumvent this new code that Mae developed her now-famous facility with double entendres, a facility that turned her into an icon and one of Hollywood’s highest paid stars.

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London Loves…. Subverting Public Art

Masked-up statue in Paternoster Square, City of London, 08/09/09

Masked-up statue in Paternoster Square, City of London, 08/09/09

Where? – Paternoster Square, City of London. Next door to St Paul’s Cathedral.

When? – 8th September 2009

What’s the story? – Paternoster Square was the finishing point for an anti-arms trade demo, which had called on many of the City banks and investment companies who provide funds for weapons companies. The protest was one of a number of actions that took place during the biannual Defence Systems and Equipment International (DSEi) arms fair, held in Docklands at the beginning of September.

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